Early warning signs and what they mean

Jelly legs when your nervous?

You probably get it when your nervous; your legs start to feel like jelly,your stomach is in a tight knot, you can't breath or maybe you just feel uneasy. For me everything brings up those nervous feelings, i suffer from anxiety and for some unknown reason i start to panic uncontrolably about little things, i even do when leaving the house, going to appointments or just talking to people. However not all panic, nervousness and emotions are meaningless these sort of emotions are called are Early Warning Signs ( EWS ). Your EWS is like a traffic light system when their not there your green, when you start to sense them your going amber and when you end up scared, frightened, panicky or nervous it's your warning system setting off red alarm bells!





draw a gingerbread man to get to grips with your felings



Now there's a great thing to these emotions there called EARLY warning signs, which means you have time to do something about them. But to harness the power of these amazing emotions you first have to recognise them. A great exersice to do is to draw a ginger bread man, to represent yourself, now write a list of all the scenarios you might find yourself nervous, panicky, frightened etc... Then on the ginger bread man draw the physical feelings associated with these emotions- by physical i mean do your feel sick? maybe you sweat more,  Do the hairs on your neck stick up? Does your mouth go dry?   These are the things you should be looking out for, and these are your early warning signs, and now for example if your walking along and you see a gang of people and you notice your palms are sweaty, it's your EWS telling you 'things are getting a little uncomfortable' . Noticing these emotions and feelings can be invaluable throughout life, helping everyone and anyone to recognise when they feel uncomfortable or scared.

But sometimes it can be 'fun to be afraid' things like rollercoasters and themepark rides,or sky diving, can be fun and so sometimes even if you do sense your early warning signs, it's good to just go and do it anyway, just make sure you havn't just eaten :)  So next time your feeling sick, or your palms are sweaty or your mouths dry, ask yourself  - Are these my early warning signs? Do i have a need to be uncomfortable? and am i in a situation in which it's 'fun to be afraid'? 
Have fun drawing ginger bread men, or maybe use this as an excuse to make some :P Lots Of Love Kxxx

My tried and tested tips to handle bullying

    Bullying is something that can happen to anyone of any age. it can be physical or verbal and now thanks to social networking sites and mobile phones can happen anywhere at any time. Bullying can be the most traumatizing thing, and I know from experience that it can seriously damage your confidence. Many people are unaware how big an impact such things can have, but to some the emotional impacts can be huge. So here some techniques to help cope with bullies.
     1. Arm yourself with positive affirmations- these are sentences you can say aloud or in your head to give you a boost when you need it. some good ones might be:
I am a good and worthwhile person
I have a lot to be proud of
I am strong
I am confident
(e.t.c.)  Try making up your own but make sure they start with ' I ' and keep them in the present I am strong (even if at the time it isn't strictly true.)  These positive affirmations can be said or thought whenever you feel a negative thought about yourself or when someone else makes a hurtful comment. For example: people make fun of my weight so when I look in the mirror I tell myself "I am gorgeous" - it might sound cheesy but stick with it because you soon find even if you didn't believe the affirmation to begin with that you do after a while.
     2. Don't believe your worth less than the bully. Don't make yourself the victim in your head, if you put the bully on a pedestal your not helping yourself or your confidence. Bullies target people to make themselves feel better- if anything you should feel sorry for them, for feeling the need to do that. The fact that you can see them as just another human being makes you better than them. So don't make them out to be anything more then what they are. You might think they are prettier, tougher, stronger, taller or thinner than you but they're just human and probably just as insecure as you.
     3. You must not believe what they say. At the end of the day, the only person that matters is you.
Remember this- When a bully points a finger at you (calling you a name) there is always three fingers pointing right back at them. Do it, right now. Point with your index finger. SEE!  For everything they point out on other people they mask three insecurities of their own.
No ones opinion counts but yours, so if you think you look pretty today, you do. If you like the outfit you are wearing today, it's a nice outfit. And if you step outside thinking your the greatest person alive- then don't let anyone else stop you because you are!

And finally, just something to think about, I have been bullied pretty much  all my life and I know so many others that have too, and you know what they say? The phrase they always use is "If I could turn back time" or "if I could go back" . But it is so true if only I could go back and tell myself how silly I am for caring what others thought I would save myself a lot of grief. But then I might not be the person I am today.
  So when I hear someone shout "Fattty" or "who ate all the pies?" I don't run away and hide, I tell myself I am gorgeous, I remember we're all human and that they are no better than me, I don't believe a word they say and I say a silent thank you. Not just to the idiots who made me cry all those years ago and made me the stronger person I am today but also to the people who helped and supported me.
So try those three things next time you're feeling down or someone says something, and notice how good you feel afterwards.  I hope this helps those who do get bullied, and believe me when I say there will be a time maybe not now, but there will be, when you can accept that no matter what bullies will always be there and you can't change them but we can change how we can react. And trust me, it is a much greater feeling when you can walk past a bully and smile and think "I don't really care!"
Lots of Love K xxx

What is this all about?

     Before, whenever asked what i wanted to do with my life i would always shrug and say "I'm not sure." it was my same answer to everything from what i wanted for dinner to what i was doing in the next 5 minutes. However, a few days ago it dawned on me that if i didn't change that answer i would never do anything useful. 
      Something that i wanted to do was help people- i thought that in some way it was what i wanted to but hadn't the slightest clue how. Then a few days ago i had an epiphany of sorts, i knew this is what i wanted to do, it wasn't 'maybe' or 'if this doesn't work out'- helping people is what i want to do.. but how. This is where Unorthodox Nation comes in. I want to create a community of people to help eachother through bad times. I myself have been through quite a lot and without the help of others wouldn't be half the person i am today, i owe a great deal of who i am to the amazing people that have helped me and now i want to do the same to others. I want others (maybe you) to be equiped with the same knowledge i am to help you lead better lives.The idea of creating this community means that we can all help. I want to help but i'm not an expert on everything however with more people on board we can create a network of solutions and support for people who need it. Maybe you just need advise, need support through a tough time or just someone to talk to, i am here to help and offer support, advise and guidence as much as i can.
      This is a great way for people to get help- it can be completely anonimous and you can ask whatever- no subject matter is to big or to small to talk about and no feeling is unimportant. If you think your alone chances are your not ( there are 6,840,507,000 people on this earth) so don't think you have to go through something alone. There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help, and you don't even need to say who you are  :) I feel really strongly about this and i really hope it catches on, as the world would be such a great place if we could just accept that it we really are an Unorthodox Nation.
       So.... today if anyone asks what i want to do with my life without hesitation i will say," I want to make the world a better place by helping people no matter what age, with whatever problem they have."  Lots of Love K xxx